I get kitted up and drive round to where my bike is parked. It’s at my elder brother’s place, a secure gated car park with allocated spaces. The idea is that the bike will be safer there than parked on the street outside my house. If it were stolen days before my trip it would certainly stop the plan dead. The bike should also avoid being damaged by careless drivers.
It isn’t the case. The bike has already had an accident and I wasn’t even there.
An Uber driver has reversed into my bike earlier that morning whilst dropping of a passenger. The driver has literally driven into the only object for miles around. My new bike. My new bike with 64 miles on the odometer is now lying on its side like a mortally wounded beast. What damage has been done I have no idea at this stage. It must have been hit hard to push the bike up onto the kerb. It’s shifted forward maybe 1.5m.

Fortunately the team at the gate are excellent and have both the driver’s details, the CCTV of the car, the witnesses details and commiserations once they hear it’s brand new. I call the driver, he’s Romanian and very apologetic. We talk in Romanian and he uses every formal mode of address that I know. I can tell he is seriously unhappy with what he did.
The security guard and I lift the bike up and I check for damage. The side stand is bent, the pannier is scrapped, the wing mirror housing is cracked, the wing mirror surround is smashed, and the fairing has scratches. Bits are actually hanging off my new bike. If I had done this I would have been mad at myself but as it was someone else’s fault I feel strangely relaxed. Having the details of the driver and his insurer certainly help!
It was going to get dropped at some point. Might as well be day one.

Total bill to repair…. Go on guess….. £1050. The private hire car rental firm send someone round on D-11 to get a signature on a ‘full and final settlement’ agreement and wire the money plus some extra to cover my travel costs back to the dealer.